Video games!

Bah, you kids today with your Xbox Live and tight pants and listening to the Fall Out Boys. Back in my day I had to share the screen with three other people, and half the time we barely knew what was going on because the frame rate was so low. Sometimes I ended up shooting myself, which doesn't even make sense! Sure my reaction time is shot and my senses are dulled and any desire to win has long left me, but if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me. Now get off my lawn!